Which metaphorical muscles are you exercising? Why “building” muscles isn’t just for the gym

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

Despite the fact that I’m a personal trainer or perhaps it’s because I am a personal trainer, I use the metaphor of “exercising your muscles” regularly with my clients.  And, it’s an effective way for them to understand their current situation and know what it will entail to change it.  The metaphor goes something like this: The more you use the same muscles, the more you will rely on those same muscles in the future.  The less you use other muscles, the less you will use those muscles in the future.  Eventually, they will just atrophy.  The key is stop overusing the same muscles and start building strength in new ones.  Whenever we want to change our behavior, whether it's to quit hitting the snooze button in the morning to starting a meditation practice, we encounter the fact that we have to stop relying on “well-exercised” muscles and start slowing building strength for the under-used ones. 

And just like doing strength exercises, you have to start small and practice frequently.  As that becomes easier, then, you can increase the weight to take on bigger and more challenging exercises. 

For example, if you tend to stay in a negative mindset, that’s likely because you’ve used those muscles over and over that they are well honed and defined.  Any time an event happens, those muscles are at the ready and provide an easy go-to for viewing life events.  To change that mindset requires using a different set of “muscles” –our positivity muscles.  For some people, viewing life from a more positive perspective comes relatively easily (just like those people with “great metabolisms” may not have to work as hard to keep their weight in check).  But for most of us, it requires work and effort.  The good news is, that just like with physical exercise, our efforts will pay off and we can be stronger than ever. 

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Just like with physical exercise, it requires mindfulness and discipline to start.  It has to become a priority and results may not be instantaneous, but they will accrue over time and soon, you’ll notice that difference –perhaps when you’re least expecting it.  For instance, if you tend to see the glass half empty and are working on optimism, there might just be that moment when you’re stuck in a traffic jam that normally you’d find aggravating that you begin to think that “maybe this is an opportunity to slow down and pause.”  “Wait, what just happened?  I didn’t go to the most negative interpretation but found a way to reframe it!” It’s in those moments that you can feel those newly developed muscles kicking in and doing some of the heavy lifting!  

Practice:

1) Name 1 thing you’d like to do better.

2) Then, think about what “muscles” you currently exercise that keep you from doing better. What are they?  What is your pattern? 

3) Finally, think of one small exercise you might undertake for the upcoming week to do something differently. Think a bite-size exercise –such as writing 3 things I’m grateful for.  It should be sustainable for the week and frequently practiced. 

4) Notice what happens.  Then, when that becomes “Easy” start adding weight!  

*See, isn’t this a great metaphor?